My thoughts...

My thoughts...: 'Likes' to '+1s'

2011-07-15T21:10:00.000+05:30

My thoughts...: 'Likes' to '+1s': "Very soon, we may be saying 'Dear... I +1 you', and I bet no one will be surprised or even raise an eye brow as it will be so much common pl..."

'Likes' to '+1s'

2011-07-15T19:12:00.005+05:30

Very soon, we may be saying "Dear... I +1 you", and I bet no one will be surprised or even raise an eye brow as it will be so much common place.
To think of it, happenings in the media have always had their effects on our lingo, our psyche, our thought process, our dress sense, our day to day dealings.
If you take the movies - Swirl of hair on yesteryear's leading lady Sadhana, Guru shirts donned by Dev Anand, almost everything done by the Big B, histrionics of Shah Rukh, Size 0 of Kareena.. If we go across the hemisphere, we have the style of Sean Connery, Gregory Peck; the grace of Audrey Hepburn, the style of divas like Julia Roberts, Angelina.... the list is endless. All these have had it's effects on what we wear, how we look.... may not be in direct obvious sense, but the effects are there by and large.
If you take literature - whether it's the golden classics era (all languages... native and foreign), the more recent pulp fiction, the more intellectual literature.... all have had their effects on the way we think.
Off-late, or maybe for quite a bit of time now, it's technology that is shaping the way we think, the way we speak, the way we relate, the way we communicate..... almost everything!
The difference is this is a framework put in by humans, fed into systems which run on 0s and 1s to present a platform to us... and we being the advanced race that we are, use our intellect to use it in a multitude of ways.... so extensively that these forms of technology are almost becoming all consuming and all pervasive.
We almost live, breathe through social networking. It's all over and all around us. For people still keeping away from this, it's probably not that much of an impact. But, for the rest like us, we are there right on the grid..... we have a co-ordinate and can be reached and are a part of the design.
And then, we as people, the way we think, the way we emote, the way we want to exhibit.... all seems driven by this phenomena.
Social Networking sites touch that inner cord most of us have, to relate, to brag, to boast, to moan, to crib... This is not new..... the feeling was always there.. did'nt we get on chai sessions, lady's group sessions, guys time outs, family get-togethers, college hang outs....? Now, we have a technology provided platform to do it!
It's addictive... and seriously needs an effort to switch off. It's required at times...
For now, I am tiding through a new medium and getting myself to "+1" it !!

They will tell us to build a temple!!

2010-09-30T14:51:00.002+05:30

Sep 30th, 2010, 2 PM : "They will tell us to build a temple!" said my six year old son !!!....Here goes the entire conversation..."I want to watch Cartoonnetwork", says my son. "No, son, I want to watch the news. It's important". "Why? What's going to come?", asks my son wondering what could be more important than his toon brigade. I tell him there's a fight about Ayodhya. He asks what's Ayodhya.... I tell him that's where Lord Ram was born.... so the fight is for building a temple. Then, he relates as he knows Lord Ram is God and temples are good things, and goes, "They will tell us to build a temple".... it was so simple for him! But, why did he say that? Because I conveniently chose to ignore telling him the complete story.... Did I do that on purpose? Did I want to hear what he said? Did I find the issue to complex to explain ? Did I not want to get into a discomfort zone? Or did I just feel ashamed to tell him what's been going on?I don't have the answers.... and maybe not enough courage to find out.

But, one thing is for sure. Aren't we all like six year olds with the media, the culture keepers, the scions of our religions, the brainwashing historians ..... we many a time don't know the complete picture, or worse still, don't want to know..... and draw our conclusions and form our opinions ......A must-introspect aspect......And now, as my son grundgingly settles for his iPod as a substitute, let me switch on the TV.....

2009 Slumdog Millionaire Hoopla - Cut to 2010 CWG Filth!!??

2010-09-25T13:05:00.001+05:30

Was’nt it just a year back, India revelled in it’s filth and poverty being made a spectacle on celluloid? – ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ – one of the largest grosser made by one belonging to our erstwhile colonial rulers. It filled coffers and brought in laurels for all involved. People marveled at the realistic cinema, the display of the underprivileged, rung in a wave of slum tourism!
Well, not taking away anything from the movie….I liked it too …as within all that, there was this intriguing story telling that kept us gripped. Made us relate to the people and their ethos.
Cut to 2010, CWG - is’nt it the same filth and dirt in the face of our so called international patrons? Are we not all feeling ashamed that our International guests are turning up their noses? Are we not feeling as if all is lost and we have taken a severe beating!!! We an IT savvy country, home to some of the richest men in the world, we who take pride in immersing our idols in rivers and seas, we who vehemently clean our houses and gardens and don’t think twice before littering public places, we the ultimate gurus of Yoga and spirituality having millions of people not having basic peace at home.. leave alone spiritual.
Yes, we have been betrayed by money eating politicians maybe… but, can we the people get away by pointing fingers?
We Indians are the first to voice an opinion – coffee table discussions, chai time chats, TV shows, office chatter, or people like me blogging like this!! That is a legacy we have inherited… nothing bad about it, but, that is all, we are just good at voicing opinions and discussing feverishly till we get our next topic and move on!
The chasm between our celebration of ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ and so-called bowing heads for the CWG fiasco goes on an shows our own hypocricy.
No way am I supporting what we have displayed to the International community; especially about something so basic as hygiene and cleanliness; but, then, am just questioning – is this something new?? We live with this day in and day out with our famous ‘chalta hai’ attitude. There is nothing new. Just that we are feeling bad because someone from outside came, saw and pointed fingers.
Why we – me myself, the other day, I was aboard a plane with a foreign national sitting next to me. I cannot explain how embarrassed I was as I was reading the newspaper which had glaring headlines about CWG being India’s shame! It was a plane and I had no way to escape. I just hoped and prayed that the gentleman does not strike up a conversation or borrow the newspaper from me!
I was relieved of the tension after the plane journey was over with no such occurances. We all will be relieved in a few days when after some patchwork things will go on, and all our guests will leave.
We will move on and continue to live in our so called ‘filthy’ conditions. There will be bigger and different issues for Venkiayah Naidu to shout about, there will be other issues for Sheila Dixit to defend, there will be other pastures for Kalmadi to explore as he would allegedly have filled coffers, there will be another realistic cinema made and we all will scramble to take credit as Indians, we will continue to have our strict and stringent poojas with rules and regulations that will maybe put off a simple religious person into aethism, we will continue to drive our cooks and maids to perfection conveniently ignoring if they themselves have enough water & basic resources at their homes, we will continue to teach our children about how to save the environment and ourselves litter the streets……
We are very good at quick fixing things!!!
I remember we had the CWG Youth Games in Pune, and the stretch with stench and garbage near Spicer College which we, the people of the city were subjected to daily; were quickly concealed for the foreign folks coming in! How silly, our administrators don’t seem to know that the very Spicer College houses so many foreign students who have also been seeing this filth daily for years now J Aah.. one technical point though…. Maybe it’s because these people are supposedly from countries a notch lesser than ours or so called Third World countries.. so it’s ok!
Our own homes…. How many time have we dumped things in haste here and there when we know that some guests are to pop in!
So, it’s there…. And maybe not only within us, outsiders too. All want to put a pretty front in front of outsiders. But, the sad part now is we have failed to do that even! And had exposed our ugly selves – all bare.
I am a patriot, I cannot stand anyone speaking ill of my country, my heart cries at what has just happened with the CWG mess…. But, then, my only point is… it is only now, it got catapulted as a point of talk between all. This has always been there and unfortunately maybe here to stay…..

We as a people are bunch of contradictions! We want something, strive for something, have something, and end up doing something else!
We the country with a Hotel Taj Palace that speaks eons about grandeur and hospitality, also have the Dharavi.
We the country owning Jaguar also make the Nano.
When we are in places like Singapore – the spick and span cleanliness is amazing… but, maybe after while gets onto our nerves because we so miss our street vendors, hawkers, maybe an occasional litter on the street. Yes, we miss it. We may not state it… but that’s the environment we have grown up in… Singapore like surroundings start looking sterile and clinical to us and not real and alive!
So, maybe we cannot build a Singapore… and realistically, let us not even attempt! But, let’s at least get back the India of the famous, old charm that we always heard of…. ‘Sone ki Chidiya’.
We have great potential…. But, when is it going to collectively shine?? Not by ignoring our own people and putting a show in front of outsiders. Our own people who don’t have toilets in their homes and have been used to other innovative means are not going to change overnight because some visitors are visiting…. All this hoopla doesn’t even matter to them! They don’t read the morning newspaper, they don’t have to deal with international co-workers, they don’t have to nor want to put up any front!
They are already having their hands full with dealing with upper echelons of society within their own nation! They are worried about where they get their daily wages from.
It’s we the pseudo, noveau rich, urbane population – who flinch at poverty, won't give a dime or damn for anything, think we have arrived at the international scene, shout from rooftops about our corrupt politicians and again get them to power or worse still don’t even vote… see it’s too beneath us to be associated with politics you see!!
We are the ever so resilient, ‘chalta hai’ folks who should be ashamed and this is well deserved shame… not because someone dirtied those places, not because someone ate the money and didn’t get the job done, not because it’s someone else’s fault. We should take collective responsibility and reflect upon ourselves, introspect, understand the real ‘we’, try and decode if we really want to change, if yes – what we as a people want to do about it!!!!

Mid-Life Crisis

2009-05-09T12:00:00.003+05:30

The other day I got a twitter invite from my 10 year old daughter. And to be frank I didn’t know what to do….
I keep getting amazing web links from my Dad and Mom. And if you see their web savvyness… one will be amazed..
And my brother and all other youngsters… well you bet… they’ve got be into the latest stuff always..
Almost, everyone around me seems to be on the net and it’s just so some much a normal routine part of their lives….
Well….I have just come to realize I am having a real “mid-life-crisis”…pun intended!!
Kids, younger ones, peers, oldies…everyone is on the go….and I somehow think I have happily managed to miss the bus somewhere along the way!!
It’s scary at times. I sometimes feel I will be lost and get extinct very soon.

I once heard my Mom-in-law say something on these lines to me. And I brushed it aside lightly. Now, I know!!
Hey..to think of it..I am not really that old yet, and well, I supposedly am part and parcel of the IT World :-) I happen to earn a livelihood out of it.
My best attempts at belonging in this web world have been using email, googling when I need something, maybe couple of site memberships and some attempts around blogging.. and that's all.
But, then, have I been able to embrace to an extent that it’s all over my life after work…guess not. And will I be able to …don’t know…maybe yes.. but it just all seems so fast and what a transformation!!

I marvel it, am in awe of it, and you bet want to be a part of it… but, I guess I will go by my own pace.

Chandrayaan-I successfully launched!!

2008-10-22T07:54:00.002+05:30

Wow!! What a moment!! Was glued to the television to watch it. And what a joy!
Yesterday, witnessed our thumping victory over the Aussies in the game of the willow. Wow!! So comprehensive.
Just days ago – saw our young, budding Champs bring India pride in the CYG Pune – be it Vir Dhaval Khade, Noria…all bringing to us the moment of glory when they stepped up on the coveted No. 1 slot, proudly displayed our tri-Colour and took the coveted Gold again and again!!

So many such beautiful moments which evoke that unique sense of national pride in us. It’s an unexplainable feeling. It just needs to be felt. Isn’t it!!

Just hoping and praying for many more such glorious events and many more such happy moments for our Nation!
We as a collective people have immense potential and caliber and a great, great future!
Here’s to us Team INDIA….Well Done and Congratulations!!

I love the Spirit!

2008-04-24T22:47:00.002+05:30

I’m here again…and what inspires me…Cricket yet again. This has been happening too often offlate....wonder why...anyways..
We’re having nothing short of a Mela nowadays. What frenzy, what excitement, adrenalin rushing, perspiration rising all packed into 20 overs each side. Pack all that action into such a short capsule, throw in the best of the best, mix them with slightly novice folks, crowds around in a frenzy and what have you got – IPL.
I’m enjoying it and how.
Before I go on any further on the positives and the entertainment factor this format is bringing to us, just a small thought which keeps making me smile when I see Hayden patting the back of a Palani Amarnath OR a Ponting hugging Ishant Sharma. Wow! It’s an amazing sight to watch. You all must’ve noticed that earlier, there was a wee bit of hesitation after a wicket or a catch was taken, in how these people belonging to varied geographies patted each others’ backs and celebrated. But, as time goes by, as the teams get into their second-third matches..they are coming into their own, you can see the sheer camaraderie, the sheer team spirit.
It’s a delight to see that.
Reminds me of a similar wave of feelings I’ve experienced…I was till not so long ago working in Indian Pureplays – in fact have done so for almost 11 years before I moved onto the Big Blue.
The working spirit, will to succeed and all is there, everywhere. That’s the reason all these respected companies have attained the stature that they have.
But, what I want to share here is a little thing about mingling with other cultures.
As I have joined the Big Blue in a solutioning consultant role, I interact with our teams sitting in different geographies day in and day out. Earlier, there was a wee bit of hesitation. I mean, coming from a vast experience with Indian pureplays – you get into a mould where here or overseas – almost all your folks you interact with are all Indians. The one who is firangi is the client. So it’s always we on one side and the firangi on the other.
So, in spite of Indian companies going global and all that, at least for me, it’s always been interacting with fellow country men/women and I did not really work as a team with people from other countries.
But, as I do so now, I realize, we as a team, share the same joys, same anxieties, put in the same hard work, have a common zeal to succeed and when we do – we all feel equally happy. I’m sure folks working overseas will vouch for this.
The IPL teams just go ahead and display that very same spirit. It is so endearing to watch people from different cultures becoming one for a cause and enjoying the team work.
When we go back to our traditional matches like India vs Australia and the like, hopefully, we will have more Friends around and healthy competition. And we may just not feel that interested in Shreesanth’s glares and Hayden’s digs. They may not even happen in the first place. Have you noticed – poor Shreesanth looks so confused nowadays – who does he glare at – Viru or Dhoni?
Let’s not mind the BIG money, the almost silly cheerleaders, the stupid commentators sitting in the studios (why doesn’t Harsha speak!! I only see him in the Mumbai Indians T all the time), the hoopla around all this, Shahrukh with his entourage of filmi folks which gets onto my nerves sometimes, the bid circus which didn’t go down very well with many….let’s just forget all that and look at the brighter, sunny side – the lovely mix of cultures and celebrate the game!

TEAM INDIA does it yet again!

2008-03-05T13:17:00.001+05:30

I just cannot not put pen to paper (though actually not touching either while keying in this post..anyways..) we have WON yet again and what a WIN!!!
I cannot get enough of the euphoria and joy being shown again & again on a multitude of channels.
Times Now is my all time favourite…with Arnab and Sundar Iyer giving a balanced view. And if you know…channels like STAR News (post their parting ways with NDTV), Aaj Tak, ZEE News have got this peculiar way of sensationalizing anything and everything…especially with those very complex and aggressive choice of words from the Hindi vocabulary and the elevated voice pitch/tone. But, what the heck..!! I am enjoying that too!! What a splendid show!!
I applaud Team India and join in with the millions of Indians who are happy and overjoyed.
Just in the midst of all this is our very own Virat force…”Our Future is in Safe Hands” as one of the newspapers so effectively quoted.
Way to Go!!

Naach, Gaana and Cricket!!

2007-11-05T17:14:00.000+05:30

Ok..so it’s a while since I’ve been here.
Ok no prizes for guessing…A lots been going on ….have literally had no time for breathing.. (I mean not exactly literally!!..anyways.. message is conveyed..so let’s move ahead!)

Ok..apart from my professional engagements which’ve managed to keep me on my toes throughout…yeah..yeah..the Big Blue has managed to colour me totally and completely Blue..and how happily Blue I am…!
Well..well..there’s been a lot on on the personal front…etc. etc.

In the midst of this roller-coaster…have not really missed the ‘events’..first the 20-20 World Cup…WOW..what a win!!
A neo-non-cricket watcher like me ..yeah..I use the term neo..as long long ago..I used to watch the game like all you mere mortals out there. And then went on this trip of indifference in worldly things like this…But, then, can people really change?? Guess not…am back to taking interest in the game and am enjoying it! And How!!
So..there it was the nail-biting finish and the way we clinched the title and then the drama that followed when our Boys came back and then the not so happy series with the Ausies (I’m resisting myself from using the word debacle!!) and then here we are today ready to face the Pakis again!
Phew….that’s been quite a bit of action with the willow!
So..looking forward to a smashing series..and no excuses this time. Let’s just get onto the field and WIN!!

There’ve been some interesting movies as well….quite a few. To name 2 recent ones.. ”Nanhe Jaisalmer” - I bet no one has heard about this one. There was’nt much hype. But, if you’ve got kids at home who insist on turning the house into a Cartoon Network-Pogo-Disney-Hungama entertainment zone..you must’ve caught the ad. So..recently the dvd has come out and we happened to see it. It’s a good movie ..seriously I liked it. Very sensitively and simply made. Go watch it if you want to see some ‘clean’ and ‘simple’ fare. You’ll love it.

And then, ‘Jab We Met’…you must’ve read all about the amazing Shahid-Kareena chemistry, lovely storyline, good performances, great treatment…and all that..well if you have..let me tell you..all that is true.
It is realy a refreshing movie. I’ve actually kind of lost interest in simple romantics…well either I am becoming too cynical or they just tend to be all so boring and predictive.
But this one is really enjoyable and watchable. It is just that..a simple boy meets girl love story told in such a lovely way…it’s really nice. You must watch it!

And then, moving on from Cricket and Movies…there’s been TV and the endless Naach-Gaana competitions. I like them ok..! But, even I am getting confused now. Who is on which..what is happening..which day there is elimination …I get mixed up!
The Sa Re Ga Ma Pa season ended with Himesh’s shagird winning the title. I liked him…X factor was less..but he always did flawless rendition. And anyway, I have this soft corner for Himesh..so I was delighted!
What else…we people need to be forced to be quiet..else, we have ample opportunity to celebrate. Dusshera and now we are on the verge of Diwali. Well, I guess that’s how we are!! And what’s wrong with that..I say!!

Naacho..Gaao..Dhoom Machao!! And go win some Cricket too!!
Amen!

Chak De yet again!

2007-09-07T19:06:00.000+05:30

Saluting the amazing spirit of this movie, here's an interesting read.
And where am I since I wrote my original post on Chak De...well...I'm doing good, however am still Blue....but, now it's the influence of the BIG BLUE!! :-) And I am surely loving it!!

Rakhee

2007-08-28T18:21:00.000+05:30

Ok...that's the flavour of the day. I, for one, am not too much into 'Days'... I mean Friendship Day, Valentines' Day, 'xyz' Day (read xyz as all possible relations you can name), this day, that day...gets a little..I don't know...little tiring at times.Ok..ok..am not a Sena supporter or someone who'll stand to protest all this 'videshi Days' thing. But, generally, all these 'new' Days that have caught on...I do like the concept in the sense ..they are all meant to show affection to your loved ones, a day to bond, a day to take out time and meet etc...but, the scary part is if you happen to forget one of these...it is the social stigma that will kill you!! Arre...it's 'xyz' day today...you didnt wish your 'xyz'. Then gone! If someone else happens to share the same relation with 'xyz' as you..and he/she happens to wish..then to you are doomed!! The poor 'xyz's may be kind enough not to mind...but, hey the people around you will make you feel you are the most inhuman HomoSapien on Earth!!
But...Rakhee...now, that's different! It's been there for ages...It's not one of the recent 'days' that has come into fashion. That's another thing ki it's got commercialized like anything. Anyway..

Rakhee reminds me of my kid brother (who has a kid of his own now);
the first day I saw him as a small bundle of snow in the cradle;
all those days of rubbing into him that i'm SIX years elder to him (though he's six feet tall now and I have to literally arch up to have a levelled conversation;);
those protective days at school when I thought it was my religious duty to protect him (God knows from what!);
all those B'day toffess I used to get for him...I always gave him the chocs I got..it felt so good;
the endless Maggis/Bhels we used to make and eat (these were the only two things where I tested my culinary skills during childhood;));
wishing him Luck before every unit test/every CCA competition;
how I freaked out the first time he went out of station on his own, when my parents told me - I literally went wild at them thinking whether they were out of their mind to send a kid alone (he was in 7th or 8th I guess and not really so small..but still!);
how I was worried to death when his Jeeju used to let him learn riding the bike;
and countless other things that I can fill blog after blog with.
He's big and mature now - but to me, well...he still remains that little kiddo. Am I not sounding very old and ancient! Well...can't help it as that's how I feel. I think to have a sibling is an amazing thing. It's someone you share your childhood with, you grow up with, fight and make up, care and love. How blessed I am for having this gift. Thanks Dad Mom!
When it was time for me to have a second child...I always used to think that I may not be able to love a second child. I mean..I knew all about...love multiplies and does not get divided...but still...somehow, I thought it was kind of not going to be possible. But, hey...what they say is right! Love does multiply. Today, when I see my second child and all the joys he has brought into our lives,I feel blessed once again. When I see my elder one mothering over the little one - I smile. I know we've given them both a gift ..gift of a sibling that they will cherish..even when we're gone.
Well...now..that brings me back to this Special Day...yes, Rakhee. It's a day that symbolizes this relationship.Now, are'nt all the other 'days' also like that? Well, maybe my supposed indifference to the others is stemming out of the fact that they seem more recent. But, hey, what the heck!! If a Day can bring such nice thoughts to your mind, remind you of a beautiful relationship you are blessed with - then so be it!
Let's go ahead and have more of such!!

Chak De!!

2007-08-14T20:50:00.000+05:30

I wanted my next post to be light-weight, something fun and nice….have been too much into some heavy-duty stuff lately..is kind of getting quite overbearing for me too!
I don’t want to think soo much…and on top of it, pen it down as well! So, that’s double ordeal…if you know what I mean.
I would want to be blissly oblivious of reality and anything remotely philosophical, I want to laugh aloud, I want to jump for joy, I want to let go and most important I don’t want to think.
What am I saying…. in simple words..I want to be foolish and experience the heavenly euphoria that comes with it…(‘Fools Paradise’ ???)

As much as I am making an effort for that… I am getting drawn more into a feeling of vacuum, blankness, almost on the verge of melancholy…!!
Ok..before you make any guesses.. there is a transition phase underway..so, my blogs will be in 'blue' hues for some time… (I am experiencing the blues you see..!!)
Am sure, they’ll get out of blue zone soon, I promise!

Ok, let me make a start rightaway and broach upon one of my favourite topics – MOVIES!!
I recently saw ‘Chak De INDIA’ – awesssssssssssssssoome. It’s almost known to all now..the movie does not need an opinion from a novice like me. But, hey, nevertheless.
I cannot not applaud the spirit of the movie. I knew what I was going for, I knew what to expect, knew it’s going to be a great ending, knew it will have the charisma of star-value (ShahRukh is not ShahRukh aise hi…!!)…knew all of that. But, still watched it with the enthusiasm of a little child!
And how I enjoyed it! Don’t miss it for anything. Catches the correct patriotic spirit. Patriotism need not stem out of a ‘Border’ or ‘Sarfarosh’ or ‘RDB’ or all that Manoj Kumar pack of cinema.
Patriotism in all it’s fervour is here full on. It makes it more real, more ‘now’ and peps us up. Go watch it…and celebrate your love for the Nation.
Please do not go with a cynical and negative approach. I hate people who go to watch a movie just to mock it or fail it. Go if you like to emote along, laugh along, cry along, lose and win with the movie.

So much so for the ‘Chak De..’ praise..I’ll rest my case now. You watch it once and you’ll love it.

Hey..hey..what’s that little blue feeling popping up.. not again..!!

Ok.. before I sign off..the blog title ‘Chak De’ as much as it was for the movie..it’s also for me! I am pepping up myself you see ;) Interestingly there are quite a few versions/meanings to the phrase on the net…go google it.
To me …it gives an upbeat feel..motivates me..and urges me to go out there and DO IT.
I’m just about getting ready….

Dreams

2007-08-10T14:25:00.001+05:30

At the risk of this starting to sound like excerpts from an autobiography, here are a few thoughts I felt like writing about..
If not doing what I am doing right now, what would I have been doing?
Pat my reply would come – Civil Services. Don’t know – but it has always excited me. I don’t know whether it is my love for Academics. I always loved to study. May sound quite pompous….but, am being absolutely honest here. I can never really relate to jokes people crack about having flunked in some paper, or how they used to bunk classes and the like. For me – studies was always a sacred thing – should be and to be done religiously. It was never imposed, but, something I yearned to do and do well.
So much so for that long charade of self-praise --- to think in today’s standards – it sounds so un-cool. Well, nevertheless…
Coming back…yeah, my love for Civil Services was deep-rooted and has stemmed out of composite factors , namely, my love for academic pursuits, my Dad’s influence – he held it in great stead and hence I wanted to achieve it, the regular CSRs (Competition Success Review magazines) month after month, some TV programme called ‘Udaan’ I saw – it really was very motivating, the all-round focus of the CBSE curriculum, the fact that my Dad is from the Ordnance Factory Services – so there is this Central Govt. service thing always there AND finally, because, basically, I liked the idea of it.
Probably, if it were something to be studied and done right after XII – I would have just as well gone for it.
But, it’s something you get into after graduation; and there’s the catch. After doing Engg , got pulled into a different fast paced world. Never looked back and somehow the desire to go the Civil Services way just dwindled away. Maybe I was’nt ready to invest so much time and pursue, maybe I was happy with the professional world I was in, maybe my Engg days made me quite a numbers person pulling me out of the Arts/History/Civics/General Studies world, maybe I was just not patient enough to read long texts and well …just that I was all too fascinated by the world of computing. And then one day, I did cross the cut-off age limit for appearing for the Civil Services exam. So, that’s where my Civil Services sojourn ended..

Ok, by the way, all my childhood, I also harboured the idea of becoming a Doctor..(the series of Robin Cooks I read fuelled the desire all the more J) did get admission to a prestigious college..Was at the crossroads that people taking PCM and PCB in XII are. And at that moment, I chose the world of computing and here I am.

Now, getting back to my current world, to be very frank, I am in love with the field of Engineering. I think a college degree does that…makes you think in a particular fashion, trains your mind in the chosen field and develops your aptitude. Engineering has made me think logical, taught me to rationalize. There’s a particular sanity, method, pattern and plan you follow. You know how to understand and control parameters in any equation and feel in control. Move onto the world of computing and it’s an amazing world out there again. I marvel at how human brains can think, devise, plan and execute. And once your brain is tuned so, that’s the way you conduct yourself – in and out of work.

Now, given that I am done with what I wanted to be, what I could have been and what I am today…it does not actually end there!

There are so many things out there that I dream of doing..

I’ve wondered it would be so nice to open up a book-store or a library. Be surrounded by books all the time. Take a nice book, a hot cup of tea and read away to eternity…in between you can cater to people coming in for books as well. You can keep doing what you like and it’s your work too. Being your own store – you can think up multiple innovative ways of arranging stuff etc.

When I was a kid and majorly influenced by Enid Blyton series, I read one about a girl called Elizabeth who goes to spend her holidays at her Uncle’s place – a farm. And there she sees an amazingly different world of growing vegetables, milking cows, looking after sheep, handling farm produce etc. etc.
So, at least that one summer when I read Elizabeth’s story – I had almost decided I’m going to be a farmer :-)
Well, even today, whenever we visit Panchgani, I almost decide to stay back and start strawberry farming!

There was a time, when I decided I am going to be a writer. I have always been in awe of people who can tell a story and tell it well. They weave a whole imaginary world so beautifully and as you read on – you become a part of that world. You feel, think and live with the characters. I have always marveled at the power of a writer. How he or she can make you see a world they want you to see. And if sometimes, the story didn’t really end the way I did, I just felt so helpless, well, how I have wished I could change that somehow...

Then again, music has been a passion all throughout. My parents sent me to learn Carnatic classical early on. Then, I used to sing in all possible competitions and shows in all my school years. I think I can just spend hours and hours with the medium. But, somehow, strange enough – never crossed my mind to think of it as a profession. For me, Music is like a soup for the soul. It is something I like to do for my own enjoyment, above all. I love it and am sure it will remain with me till the end.

There are many such varied things…even thinking of them makes me feel nice, elevates my mood. Something like ‘These are a few of my favourite things…” Gone-by things never make me brood, they always make me nostalgic.
I guess that’s what dreams are meant to be. Flights of fantasy which any time, every time make you feel good.

And for now, I see my children dreaming and I smile. My daughter wants to dance, wants to fly, wants to swim, wants to touch the moon. She sometimes wants to be a swimming teacher and the other day, she wants to be an astronaut.
My son has more rustic wishes like driving a truck :-)

I wish to see them happy today and everyday, always. I think that is my ultimate dream and this one will come true. I dream and I believe.

Traits that make us do what we do

2007-08-02T11:59:00.000+05:30

When I think of it – mankind is a composite network of multiple traits or qualities.

A myriad of traits which makes an individual self-express, dream, create, build, find solutions, strategize, implement, manage, visualize, play, compete – traits that make mankind a cut above the rest.

On one hand – there are artistic traits - forms of self-expression like prose, poetry, music, dance, painting, speaking, sculpting etc. etc.
I think more or less – these come from within. They can be developed as well – but, more so it’s an inner aptitude which can be further enhanced.

Then there are the traits to build, solve, lead, compete and the like.
By and large, I think these can be developed. Having said that – there is an inner born fire in some which just steers them. Born Leaders - ? – something like that.

I, for one, am in awe of people with both the kinds. I have my likes for certain ones – but, that is a different story.
Different sets of individuals with their own composition of traits could be in awe, could like, could be aspiring, could loathe, could be oblivious etc. etc. with a different set carrying some other compositions.
The true-blue artists may feel the day-to-day people working their lives away for a livelihood in less glamorous fields are devoid of rich thoughts, not expressive etc. AND there could be the usual white-collar job guy who may feel that artists et al. just while away their time doing nothing productive. And also, there could be people in each of these sets who sincerely appreciate the other and yearn to be like them.
And some who appreciate varied qualities of all and wonder at the complexity of our race.

Coming back, each individual, I feel has a combination of these various traits in different proportions – varying from 0 to 100%.
It is the composition that makes each one of us what each one of us is or makes each one of us do what each one of us does.
We all could be functioning in different spheres, different geographies, different cultures, different scales, different time-zones, different people, different everything – but parallels can be drawn and patterns found in the ways we do what we do.
The common denominator here being – Traits.

Some discreet examples follow (these are free-flowing and sometimes you could wonder if I am sticking to the topic or wandering…well I’m not a 100% writer..so please bear with me!)

We could have a painter who paints away and does’nt care whether it gets him a living – he’s the one who paints for the sheer pleasure of it and finds gratification in doing so. (100% painting).
Then, we could also have a painter who is great at the art form, knows what he is doing and also how to get paid for it. Having said that – it does not take away his/her excellence in the art form – but, the person has a mix of traits. (90odd % painting + 10% business acumen)
These two individuals could be existing in very different worlds and strata of society, but, still there would be a common ground where they could meet (rather thoughts could meet) and understand each other’s expression form.

There could be an exemplary leader – maybe in a small village, he knows what it takes to get his people their rightful due from the zamindar maybe. And then, there is, say, the President of a successful nation who exercises his leadership in a different context and influences world leaders. (100% leadership)
What am I comparing here? Does it deserve to be? These people will as well spend their whole lives not even aware of each other’s existence.
Well, that is not the point. The point is – these two individuals at some level are having common traits – both are leaders and exercise their leadership traits in their respective spheres of influence successfully.

There is a score of people who work in large corporations and are into white collar jobs (I belong to this set and hence feel more for my fellow-mates here :-))
On the face of it – they just are all the same. Working away their lives in a set framework, in their respective fields of work, earning their rightful livelihood and providing for their families. At a macro level - they all seem so similar - maybe each carrying a unique employee-code – that’s it.
But, on looking deep down – there could be a myriad of traits in there.
There could be music lovers – who may not become the next rock-stars, but nevertheless relate strongly to the art form.
There may be visionaries – who may not end up creating their own conglomerates – but, nevertheless – they are a force to reckon with and surely spread their influence in their areas of work.
There may be folks who want to express their thoughts in writing – they may not become the next Booker prize winners. But, hey, they nevertheless wish to write and will do in their own limited environments. (Hey…I am also blogging right? :-) )
What do the compositions here say?? Taking an IT world example – maybe
90% programmer, 10% singer;
45% leader, 45% visionary, 10% designer and so on and so forth….just take your pick.

I don’t know why I started with this topic – it’s getting too big for me to handle. There is a huge set of behavioural traits not touched upon at all.
Is Trait a right word at all?? Well, what I am looking at is the qualities which define our vocation, our professions, our way of doing things.
Anyway..

For all you know – we could be in a very different profession altogether which in no way matches up with our internal compositions.

One could be a 100% singer – but, he may not be doing that and must be into selling – say, selling vegetables. Well, he may not start singing in his shop – but, he will and should find a form of self-expression which will bring his intrinsic strengths to the fore-front. Recognition, name, fame are secondary – first and foremost he will find happiness in indulging in what he likes.

One could be a 100% visionary – but, he may be into a mundane day-to-day desk job. That’s ok – he will and should find ways to self-express. It will surely be visible (pun intended) and make small changes in the immediate context around him.

We all have a composition of traits. If we think deep down – we know our strengths. We know what can make a difference.
Our natural traits will surface – they cannot be kept under wraps for long. They should not as well. For
One – if we let ourselves do what we want to do – it will make us happy. This does not mean we have to always make very radical changes. We can bring these about in our own little ways;
Two – it will benefit the larger group (almost always). Hopefully that is unless we have a major wrong reading of our strengths :-) and
Three – our intrinsic traits will anyway find a way out - so let’s create a conducive environment to the extent possible.

RAINS

2007-07-26T14:55:00.000+05:30

RAINS - The one word which brings to mind freshness, greenery, climate becoming cool, much required for our crops to flourish and all other nice things associated.
Poets have contributed endless flowery verses to praise this great time of the year.
It’s the time romantics love and look forward to.

Within all this, here is me – I want to be honest here – I just can’t figure out what is so exciting about this season!!
Given a chance – I would prefer that it rains just on top of the fields and rivers – so that the purpose is served.
Now – doesn’t the thought itself sound so drab and dry? I know. Even while writing this – I thought – let me just chuck this whole idea. Seems the least appealing to be written or read about..

But, then, what the heck – let me just go on.

I’ve always wondered – few things like this – appeal to various people in varying degrees.

Me for one – in today’s times – gets bogged down with all the not so nice things the RAINS unleash - increasing traffic with jams everywhere; bad roads with potholes where you can actually drown (little bit of exaggeration here with an in vein attempt to make this interesting…); unending string of clothes at home which don’t dry; kids coming home with clothes covered in different shades of soil; the ordeal to carry along a stupid looking umbrella everywhere – you know how it is – the fancy looking, showy, foldable ones don’t really work – they are just that – for show! And the real big ones – they are good – but, hey – let’s be practical – can’t be carried along no!

Making one thing clear here – not talking of the endless real bad things that happen when the RAINS unleash their fury – Floods, people losing lives and property and all other such destructions brought about.
Am taking a slightly convenient and myopic view and limiting myself to a more controlled environment where I have conveniently kept out such adversities. So, let’s just talk about the normal rains and what follows.

By now, you’ve understood my opinion about RAINS. Now, coming to think of it – I look at my kids and they seem to be loving the season.
They go about with so much abandon – they actually love it.
Potholes - ?? What’s that? – They see little puddles where they can play.
Ditches - ?? What’s that? – They marvel at how small swimming pools get formed and enjoy the joke.
Long Travel in school bus due to jams - ?? That’s ok – who said that’s boring – more time to chat away with friends.
Rain outside and can’t go out to play - ?? That’s ok sometimes – they go bersek with video games, TV, art & craft and the like and in general making a mess of their room.

I know the abandon comes from the sense that they don’t need to actually think of making things work – like getting to a place in time, getting uniforms cleaned and dried etc. If we discount all this as well – I mean they are not supposed to be responsible for all that stuff – what amazes me is the sheer simplicity with which they look at things. And they just seem to enjoy in any and every circumstance.

Extrapolating this further and moving away from the RAINS stuff – it’s something really interesting.
Kids always manage to look at the bright side of anything and everything unless we elders kind of prejudice them with some pre-conceived stuff.
People who can carry such similar genuineness and abandon further on in their lives, I think, are the ones who look at the beauty and niceties of small things in life. They take time to stop by and appreciate.
And that breed is not extinct. It’s still there thankfully – just that I see the species diminishing and I being a part of the majority which are just running the race of life without taking a second to stop by and enjoy what’s happening around.
Talking of flowers and butterflies somehow has become extinct and sounds text-bookish.
Sounds like coming out straight from a Class V English book.
Why?
I think we all need to take a step back, just relax and start enjoying little things in life once again.
Blooming flowers – they can really brighten up your day! We don’t get to see many..maybe only at the Florists’. Hey, let go of that cynical thought popping in your mind about wasting money on something which will wilt away in a day. It’s worth it as it lasts.
Rain-drops falling on you cheeks – it’ll be refreshing! Don’t need to worry about that flu you may catch and the leaves that would get wasted. It’s ok – just enjoy those glistening pearls on your cheeks.
A silly stupid joke – it’s ok – you can laugh aloud! It’s absolutely fine sometimes to just give a silly, impulsive laugh. The humour need not be intellectually stimulating always!

And many more. To be frank, I’m straining myself to think what else can make to this list. See – that itself shows how far I have travelled from enjoying these sweet little things.

Let me make a resolution..(I know I know it’s not New Year’s time and that’s why I am more hopeful of living upto this resolution..!)

I’m going to make a conscious attempt to start taking things easy, to enjoy, to experience, to relax and to start re-living all the little joys.
But the RAINS – hmmm – how much I enjoy them will need to be seen :-)

METRO

2007-07-02T11:53:00.000+05:30

This blog is stemmed out of my recent viewing of METRO and Jhoom Baraabar Jhoom (well – maybe another blog for that). Oh God…this Blog is turning into a Movie Blog…
Well..well…nevertheless..

First METRO – this is fresh in my mind as I saw it only yesterday..
The feeling I get after seeing this movie is depiction of a penchant desire to be part of the supposedly ‘wanted’ and ‘in’ species developing in the so called cities.
Am I being very, very harsh and cynical about the movie? Not really…but..when the movie winds up, what I am left with is a mish-mash of a lot of presumably ‘in’ and ‘today’ things all put together in one 3 hour pack ( or was that 2 and a half hours..?)
Somethings like the gay track are so very predictable. What is with the gay aspect nowadays anyway? It seems to be popping up in every other so called ‘urban’ and ‘meterosexual’ movie. Either it has become so prevalent a concept that it is bound to pop on celluloid as well (I don’t see it though…maybe I am plain blind!) OR it’s the latest fad.
Whatever be the case – it is getting a little too boring. It’s the same like many of the passing phases our Movies have had. A time when the hero went off to Kashmir in every movie, then came the phase of a bichda hua mother-son milaap in every other movie, then we had the Mumbai underworld glorified everywhere or the most infamous item song popping up in every other film that hit the screens. Somehow, I feel now it’s the gay scene. People all around..at least in the movies seem to be gay and happy 

You must be wondering – hey, that was just a small aspect – why make such a big ado about nothing. Well, my idea here is that there were these numerous predictable bits and pieces mish-mashed together – it left the taste of a mocktail in my mouth. Mocktails do taste very good and I like them too and hey they are expensive as well. But mocktails are that – mish-mash of different blends giving a unique ‘mixed’ or ‘mocktail’ taste. So, it’s not like your usual ‘Orange juice’ which is so very ‘orange’ and predictable and ‘safe’ I must say. You take an Orange juice and you know what you are getting.
Well --- you take a Pinnacolada or a Virgin Mary and you still know what you are getting if you are the usual mocktails type – but, hey, one must agree that they come with that extra burden of being expensive, awe & novelty of a beautifully shaped glass and awkwardness of not knowing what to do with that lemon ring or sprig of leaves or better still that salt coated on the glass rim! So, you get what I am saying – it’s good, you like it…but, somehow it does not make you very comfortable.
Its novel, interesting, little unknown, dear on the wallet, looks quite appealing and there it is --- luring you. But, given a slightest chance – how I would love to go back to my basic Orange juice – sasta and tikauu.

These new movies about urban relationships make me feel exactly like that. They generate the inquzzitiveness for something supposedly of these times, make me feel a little ancient and tell me in the face that hey – if you like these – you know where you are heading AND if you don’t like these – you are so uncool.

Now, keeping aside this unending charade of what I ‘felt’ overall – let me get to some brass-stacks.
What I liked FIRST and most was the music – extremely good! There was the Rock effect very much there – Kudos to Pritam (I somewhere read that the music has been lifted – the feeling kept popping up all through the movie and spoilt my appreciation of Pritam. Well – anyways – I love his music – so, I decided not to pay attention to that not so good piece I read somewhere. You shouldn’t be believing everything the magazines write in any way)

SECONDLY, the actors. I don’t know how Konkona manages to make her mark each time/every time – it’s amazing. I anyway like Shiney – so there he goes with full marks from me. I thought he should’ve had more to do in the film.
And Irfan – well I actually don’t like his looks, his puffy eyes and that demeanor are very much like the character he played. But – what amazing talent…WOW!
Nafeesa – well she’s so amazingly elegant – though I think she doesn’t really act so great.
And Dharmendra – well I didn’t like that part of the casting AT ALL.
The movie was in true terms a CASTING COUP of sorts – every actor fit their respective roles perfectly. But, Dharmendra – well, not that he didn’t play his part well. But, I don’t want to see Dharmendar in that kind of role – looking so vulnerable and weak! Not done!! He is anytime better off chasing goons and hurling expletives at them or going back a little – that amazingly handsome guy romancing the leading ladies of that era.

THIRDLY, Anurag Basu. In spite of my harsh reaction to the story-line (or lack of it) and all the other not so good things I have just written – we must give credit to this man. He has what it takes. The capability to visualize multiple tracks, glue them together and present so simplistically needs a creative head. He has definitely managed to catch the pulse of today. So, Kudos to Anurag!

In a nutshell – my take –
As a movie – good, great music, lovely performances, cool/urban feel, enough dope to discuss over coffee tables.
As a story – felt like a Subway salad on one end – pick your pieces and mix them together. And a mocktail on the other – cool, expensive and maybe not something your Mom makes in the kitchen daily!
As an influence – makes you think, given a multitude of characters – urges you to try and relate with one. If you don’t really – urges you to do a retro-fit and try and feel you ‘belong’ by getting a most-close comparison. Is that good or bad – well depends on your state of mind actually.
At the risk of being judgmental, I would say – these stories are best left so – as stories.
They are far too complicated if run in real lives. Hey, you have an Anurag Basu who has it all cut-out in his mind and unravels it on canvas for you.
But, our Lord up there – well – He doesn’t let out his secrets so quickly does HE!! Not in 3 hours for sure!
So, I think Mankind would do a lot of good to itself by following more conventional, straight roads and stick to plain & simple Orange juice!
AMEN!

Back after a hiatus

2007-06-17T09:43:00.000+05:30

It's quite some time since I was here...
Have been busy, extremely tied up, however cliched it may sound...but, here it is, just haven't had the time to breathe..
The past month and a half has been a literal mixed bag. Multitude of happenings which have left me drained out and tired...and it is only now that I'm taking some time to introspect.
FIRST, there have been changes on the professional front - went ahead and said no to a prized role that would have been a natural progression, something you can say I was being groomed for...saying NO is a firm decision..but..just to think of it..letting go of authority is a mixed thing. One hand - you seem to be getting powerless which is not a very happy feeling if you know what I mean, and the other end you feel a sense of freedom. Freedom to choose your own path, turn adventurous again, make mistakes, need not be tied to a pattern!
SECOND, my second child has started with his Playgroup in Big school. And there I am everyday sitting at his school with a host of other parents like me. Why are we there? because the school wants us to be there for reasons of getting the kids adjusted to the ways of big schools. So there I am doing nothing and observing small kids playing in the garden with so much abandon. And you know what I feel ? - a pang of envy...! Can you imagine that??!!! Just to see that they are so free, so aloof and so happy! That is how God made us you see...and here we are ..we are the ones solely responsible for creating all these shackles around us. Now, getting little out of the philosophical tone - this whole school episode does deserve a dedicated blog....more on it later..
THIRD, there's my Granny's death...she was 95 and passed away. Looking at it one way (which may sound quite impassionate) - she did see it all and the final time had come. I was surprised at my reaction when I saw her lifeless. Actually, I didn't start howling or crying. Not that I had a very close day-to-day interaction kind of a relationship with her..but, still..she was my Granny and it was a sad thing that she's just gone. But, I, for whom controlling tears has been a problem all throughout, was quite composed. That is the word for the outside world..but, believe me..to be frank...I didn't really feel something so painful. But, again very surprisingly, there came the moment when she started her last journey....ppl lifted her and all that and that's when the whole bottled up emotions came out stumbling! There I was again surprised!!...But, it was there...the triviality of all this. There it was like a slap in my face...that whatever you do...this is what is the final thing..we all have that final destination to reach... It's too big a thing which probably I am not capable of writing about. I feel so small in front of LIFE's biggest reality...the END.
But, does that deter us from doing what we are doing...actually NO. Here at one end I was seeing that a person is just no more...and the other end, there are those little happy children playing and discovering life so beautifully..
So, there it is...that is the reality, that is the beauty of LIFE. GOD has bestowed us with life to discover little joys, nurture our young ones, enjoy the satisfaction of seeing them grow strong, travel through the journey of life with nice things and not so nice things along the way...and LIVE! The end is inevitable..but, then, there is this whole journey in between..we are blessed to have got the opportunity...so, let's do that....LIVE and celebrate it!

Well...well...will just come out of that...

So, that's how life has treated me over the past few weeks. To say the minimum, I am tired and can drop dead anytime. I have been running and running in multiple directions, in my quest to give my bit wherever required. In my endeavour to pay attention to all needs...

You know what I need just now...yes that BREAK!!! Just reminds me of one of my earlier blogs! But, seriously I need one. Am sure it is'nt very much in sight for a long, long time.

Anyway, here's to LIFE and my renewed faith in God and all things HE has created! HE has actually charted out our plan you see...it's just that we are discovering it each day. So, let's enjoy the process !

The Friday Verdict

2007-04-14T21:36:00.000+05:30

I have always wondered how a movie is made - some go very well with the audience and some just diasappear as soon as they see the light of day.
Are all HITS 'good' movies or all FLOPS just that doomed ones?

Actually, not really.

I, for one, am a person who sincerely puts in an effort to like any movie I see (goes for my husband too). Of course the set I am referring to here is the A grade movies ok...
and not the lesser grades which anyways can best be avoided and not talked about.

What I am talking about here are the pure mainstream movies. If you have'nt got the point yet....
then, without travelling a very long way back,
there's a (A)'Guru','Dhoom 1/2', 'Munnabhais..','Baagban','Dus/Bluffmaster/Bunty Aur Bubly', 'Krrish/Koi Mil Gaya', 'Khosla ka Ghosla/Pyaar ke side-effects...' 'Judwaa/Hera Pheri/Hungama..', 'Main Hoon Na', 'Border', 'Hum Tum','Raaz/Murder/Gansgter/...','Dil Chaahta Hai','K3G', 'Satya','KKHH','DDLJ', 'Darr','Baazigar','Maine Pyaar Kiya', 'JJWS', 'Mr India', 'Hum Aapke/Hum Saath..', 'Devdas/Black..' AND
then there is a (B) 'Jaaneman', 'Baabul', 'Lakshya', 'Armaan','Roop Ki Raani Choron ka Raaja', 'LOC Kargil', 'Run','Darna Mana Hai', 'Fizaa', 'D', 'Nishabd', et al AND then, there is yet another set
(C) 'Shaka Laka Boom Boom', 'Hanan', 'Nehle Pe Dehla', 'Janasheen'

Apart from these...there are the slightly tangential ones..'Anwar' (have you heard of it?..check it out..good and different), the crossovers..'Monsoon Wedding' types,
the cool, urban ones...'My brother Nikhil' types, bold ones...and the list and types go on..!

MIND it...this is not an exhaustive list...as I write there are more names ringing in my head...but, I possibly can't name them... what I am trying to do is
bring out the segregation..which forms the foundation for the next things in line..

(A) - WOW!! You as a person may like some, may loathe some (hey...you anti Karan Johar, anti Yash Chopra freaks..)..but you can't ignore them!
This set covers the finesse of Mani Ratnam, the experimentation of RGV, the sentimentalist streak of Yashraj/Chorpas, the cool romantics - safe bets, comic ones - evergreen,
the Bhatt Camp creations, the action/superhero, Bhansali's brainwaves, patriotic ones...

(B) - Never understood why this lot ever failed! Good movies, some really good ones, some different, some similar formulas/directors/style as the A category - but, ppl just outright reject them.
WHY?? When I see this set, I can see the hard work that must have gone in. Everyone wants to make a HIT movie isn't it? They have it in them, the spark is there, the works ..everything,
but, then the verdict at the BO - Flop. Why? How does the general psyche work?

(C) - Oh this God forsaken set!! Why were these movies ever made? Why didnt they themselves shelve once they saw the end-product and saved us from the ordeal
! Didn't they know what was getting made at their hands? Or was it this crap they alwasy wanted to make - is it a sadistic pleasure in making us suffer OR
pure inadequacy, inefficiency and absolute lack of talent (talent?? may be too lofty a word in this context...let's just call it basic common sense!)

The (C) catgory irritates me to the hilt and I can never comprehend the internal working of the team which puts together such crap.

The (A) category shines always..you can see it/ense it when the movie is being made itself - be it sheer STAR power, great marketing, seasoned masala formulas (not formulae.. :-)),
great talent, glitz and glamour, something novel, cool and chick...whatever..these movies shine and are here to stay. You may like or hate them based on what type of movie buff you are,
but, you cant deny the status they enjoy! These are the Stars, the successes, the HITS.

So, I don't NEED to talk about (A)...they don't need any talking actually! I don't WANT to talk about (C)...let me save myself from reliving the anguish!!

But, it is the (B) category that pains me and surprises me. It pains me to see many a good movie just vanish. WHY? Is it that I am just too generous and like most of the movies
and should really place trust in the larger audience and see their point. They say Folp ...then, it is a Flop..?
But, why? I fail to see what the larger audience who brands these as Flops does. Or is it the other way round - do they fail to see the real thing?

(B) categor also has surprises...which may not be the very best movies ...but, they in fact are more or less replicas of their (A) category brothers and sisters..
but, yet they have a diferent fate.. (LOC..Border, Baabul..Baagban, D..Satya, and more such sibling pair..)

Think about it....if anyone has seen 'Jaaneman' - it had everything that makes a movie click..but, I would say that 'everything' was in a different mould..
and not the conventional style..was it the newness or the audacity of the director to say things in the face of audience which did it?
Shirish Kunder has his own style..may not be as conventional as his wife who scored a perfect 10 with 'Main Hoon Na'.
But, hey, he has got a Style of his own! Give him a break!
And why can't we accept that and appreciate it? Why did it not click with the masses?

There's a 'Roop Ki Raani Choron ka Raaja'...it had all the money, the masala, the works - did it work ? NO! And it brought immense losses to the makers!

The series of flops from Abhishek Bachchan not so long ago...I liked them all! What was it that didn't click? Am sure if they are released again NOW..people
will sit up and watch. Especially...RUn...it was an amazing movie..simple concept shown beautifully. Must have done well maybe..but, from the looks of it,
I would've liked to see it scaling greater heights.
What happened to Farhan fans...the ones who lapped up Dil Chahta Hai..why did they suddenly turn away from Lakshya. I know..i know..they were different subjects..
but the movie-making shows familiar streaks in both.
Border goes well..and people just pack away LOC, Baabul wins hearts of ppl...and the same don't really want to shed tears again in Baabul...the sibling twins remember?

So, there it is...the magic of movies, the magic of watching drama unfold on the big screen, the pains and tribulations that go into the making,
the BIG money at stake, the careers and number games which get made and unmade and the finally the verdict on every Friday!

Strange ..isnt't it....all that 3 hour power pack thrown at the mercy of an audience...which will react how..? noone knows!

But...whatever be the ultimate result...movies are made, continue to get made, we continue to watch them, like some/hate some/applaud some/award some,

It's a magical world really...I'm happy..as there is something new every Friday..which category remains to be seen!

Are we a 'sportive' people?

2007-03-27T13:39:00.000+05:30

I am not a cricket buff, don't follow the game, actually not that I don't like it, but there is a certain eccentricity element in me which tells me everyone is crazy about it no - so, I should'nt be – generally revolting…against what..don’t know!!

Anyway, coming to the point in context, I was one of the EXTREMELY saddened souls when I heard that India has lost it’s chance to play further in the World Cup..
I did put an ear to various reports, conversations etc. around me which ranged from blaming Team India, analyzing what went wrong, sermonizing future course of action, taking a pedestal position and being philosophical, someone saying it’s ok- let’s applaude the other team who did better, some stooping down to a level of making personal attacks on the players, some saying it’s a game and we need to move on…etc…etc..etc…

In all this, I was very sad….very, very sad…there was an ‘I’ or ‘Me’ or ‘My’ element which had been hurt…extremely hurt.
I don’t understand the technicalities of the game..I was’nt blaming them…I could’nt really.. don’t have that kind of a temperament. But, yes, I was extremely sad, quiet, but very, very sad.

This feeling brought forth one of my biggest weaknesses – not capable of taking defeat. Not able to comprehend defeat being an option. Not at all comfortable with any ‘sport’ which demands that we be sportive, which says one will win and the other will lose.
The question always in my mind has been – why is’nt it the Academics way – do your best and you score a 100! Just because someone else is scoring a cent per cent, does not deny you the chance if you are equally deserving. It works differently and so much more better!
Nevertheless, we have had sport, since I think, ages. I am sure since mankind evolved, the spirit to compete has always been prevalent – I am not against that. But, if it’s not your day, a sport or a game mercilessly throws defeat back into you face. So, am I saying – it’s all luck and we have no part to play. NO, certainly not! But, the intensity and gravity with which you are hit needs courage, needs guts, needs the grit to take it and move one and needs the ‘SPORTIVE’ spirit.

Guess that is the most difficult part – to brave it in the face of defeat and move on.
That shows character.
Me on a personal level – I am learning, still not there, definitely not there, but, am consciously trying to reach there.

Life from academics to Professional itself gives you the first blow, starts showing you the harsh face of the world – here you are pitted against one and all – mind you, everyone around you is competing – at some level or the other.

I’m learning, have been for the past 10 odd years and as I feel I’m becoming mature by the day – and here comes a totally unrelated, something which does not affect me personally, a game which I am not interested in the first place – and it hits me, it hits me HARD.
What hit me most is that, I have still not really changed from the core. Under all the facades of professional maturity, I am still the same person!

I still feel sad, feel dejected, wish things could be undone and redone, take time to realize and come out of melancholy.

I have realized that some people are born sportive, when I say born – their mind is more or less inclined or trained towards taking things in their stride, adverse things I mean – either they are like that always or have been able to inculcate that from early on.

Now that I have realized I don’t belong to the ‘sportive’ species, I have a constant fear that my offspring may also turn out like me – which I would’nt want!

The kind of school that my daughter goes to is just right from that aspect. What they teach them is how to work as a Team; how not to focus on individual histrionics, but to gel as a team; to participate is important and not whether you win; not to attach too much importance to ‘compete’ which in turn makes you anxious about the outcome, but to participate. All this sounds familiar isn’t it, heard all the time? – Well I heard this too, but, in Gurukul (that is my daughter’s school), this is followed not in letter, but in spirit.
I see multiple examples of this spirit being inculcated in my child day in and day out, to the extent that I fear that she may not have the competitive spirit, killing attitude, go-getter perspective – but, then, are’nt we all more or less like that? Does that make us happy people? Definitely yes, when we win (that also comes with a heavy price of stress and anxiety prior to the ‘victory’); but when we see defeat – it also leaves us as dejected, saddened and despaired lot.

If the competitive spirit is coupled with courage to take defeat positively and move ahead in life – nothing like it – perfect potent mix that successful people are made up of!
I have a feeling that my kids are moving in that direction – which makes me happy, very happy. I smile silently with satisfaction and yes anxiety again that they should grow up to be secure, confident and courageous. Just hope that I don’t rub off my anxieties on them.

If my hypothesis surrounding me and my lack of sportive spirit is correct, I feel, we by and large a hugely ‘non-sportive’ people.
What we need is more and more people with courage; people with strength of character who can take on any adversity with dignity and calm; who will learn from their defeats and can bounce back immediately(I mean almost); who don’t immediately jump to conclusions; who can take the time to sit back, think, strategize and actionize; and who can once in a while rejoice in the opponent’s victory as well – well if not rejoice, at least acknowledge the opponent’s superiority, appreciate and applaud.. Definitely the last one is contextual – would’nt expect that to happen in a battle! I am not expecting people to become Buddhas, but, surely some amount of control over one’s mind and emotions will help us go along way and emerge victorious.

It’s time, we made a start – by at least acknowledging the fact that we may be quite ‘sporty’, but are not the best ‘sportive’ people. And then move on to sit down and do something about it.

At least, I have, in fact I did quite some time back….my journey is on….hopefully I attain my destination soon..

Ahhh that vacation..

2007-03-23T20:57:00.000+05:30

'Vacation'...that magical word has become a dream, a much-awaited break from stress, a time-window most eagerly looked forward to..
So much of time goes in anticipation that you actually start enjoying the pining, waiting, anxiety for the supposed utopia you would be transported into once you take off..
When I sit to think, do you really need to get away to a far-off land to be away from the daily mad rush? I would say 'Yes' and 'No'.
(A)'Yes' for various reasons -
to be really away which means hey, my cell is not going to be reachable;
to overcome the so called guilt of not able to spend real leisure time with kids (it's always....hush..i'm on call, don't make noise..am sending out this really important mail, a game of scrabble...not now dear, I am just drained out today..and it goes on..);
a status symbol declaring to the world...we went to xyz place..had a great time..you must try it...;
maybe sometimes some really real reasons of wanting to explore the place;
and most of all i think to just break away, in anticipation, that some place elsewhere we are going to be away from the reaches of the usual rut.
(B)'No' -
for people who have elevated themselves to higher planes of wisdom and definitely a degree more enlightened than us mere mortals who have ample control over their minds and can imbibe a clutter-free environment (read 'mind') for themselves in the midst of absolute chaos. Escaping to a far-off place - no, not for these wise ones;OR
for people who want to go to a happening place, but, are compelled not to due to various pulls that keep them back.

So, now with the basic analysis done (don't really know why I did it in the first place!..anyway..), let me say that I am of the first type - the 'Yes' type.

I would love to get away, just get away some place and WHY...probably for a mix of all the reasons I mentioned for why people of the first type do what they do.

Now, what does a vacation mean to me...?
I remember, as a kid, it was more or less packing off to our native place during summer holidays. I don't remember going to any fancy places...the escapades were mostly annual trips to visit grandparents or religious ones for the required thanksgiving to God Almighty. Thank God my parents took me along for the religious ones - lest, I would have died an atheist! With the way I have prioirties today, I may not like it so much, but, I hardly find time to do anything remotely revolving around temples or just saying a simple Thank You prayer to God.
So, there it is...come summer holidays, pack your suitcases (the big VIPs), get into the right compartment (my Dad did very meticulous planning around that...will need to dedicate a whole post on that one :-) ), off to Ammmamma or Mamma's place in all anticipation. It used to be great first and then, when the novelty wore out, it was..when do we get back?
In fact, with this pattern, I always thought how can one go to a place where there is noone to visit...
But, whatever..these vacations, with all the heat and sweat, with same place to visit year after year - were great times and see, I still remember them..most FONDLY.

Then, I grew up and got into this vicuous circle of professional life, being on-call and available all the time, having something or the other which is required as on yesterday; along-with that kids for whom I never seem to have enough time :-(,pressures of the day - all leading to a mountain of stress with burning lava inside ready to explode at the slightest pretext.
With this picture, I now CRAVE for a vacation.
I still enjoy the anticipation, the planning, the thinking over again and again of what all i will pack into that 'free' time window...
And then, I love those spur of the moment vacations too where we just decide and take off...
Alas, the second types are diminishing day by day. There are so many strings attached, so many loops to close...can't afford to go away without planning and announcing to the whole world.

Now before I go any further on this topic, one thing is for sure, I am in bad need of one!!
Fingers crossed and wishing for a fabulous time to unwind...what's wrong with dreaming !!! ;)

Do we know what we want?

2007-03-19T22:59:00.000+05:30

Don’t know if anyone else experiences this or I happen to be the ‘chosen’ odd one (seriously…I would love to have company…and being kind of ‘chosen’ for this strange feeling is spooky!!)
Anyways…here it goes..
Many times through…I’ve felt I don’t know what I want!
When I was a kid, there were times I wanted to go, learn swimming and then I thought it was kind of complicated and not really worth the effort..
A little older, I wanted to be an expert on circuits and electronics, I spent some effort too, but, then always had this thought at the back of my mind if I really liked doing it..
A little older, I thought I should study to be an Engineer, I did that too, but then there was a little thought somewhere which told me I would be better off studying History or English..
A little older, I wanted to be in the cut throat world of business always on the move, and then something told me to get into a more in-office job..
A little older, I wanted to balance work and kids, have been doing too, but, something tells me this is not my calling..need more time for family..

It's choices, choices all the way...some decisions taken are good and some bad. Whatever be the case, we take them and live with them. Many a times, the path taken kind of makes things monotonous and we change the way things are....and then there is again the excitement to make things work..

With time, I've come to realize that choosing between two paths has been the most complicated thing to do. Someone else decides for me and I will be happy to follow. So, does that mean I am a good follower and don't really want to lead...not really.
I think I find it far more easy and nice to have someone do the thinking especially when there are options!

If only, life were simpler and we didn't need to choose from so many options...I may be sounding strange...but, seriously..whether it's what to cook for lunch today, which colour would look good on the kids to things like what type of work is really my calling....CHOICES, OPTIONS leading DILEMMAs and the pain to 'choose'...

It brings me to the thought - Do we really know what we want? Whenever the mind makes a choice, it is a function of various parameters which the mind understand are the variables in this equation. Intelligent species that we are, we tend to run these equations in our minds all the time - to choose between a pizza or pasta OR to choose between doing an 'in' jobe or taking it easy.. And then, there are times when the logic seeking neurons in the mind are overrridden by the heart (is that the 4 chambers...ooops..I don't want to apply my grey cells here again..) and we still end up making a choice.

So, good or bad, through mind or heart, whether we like or not - we are making choices all the time, everytime...If only, we had to do less of that. ...given the ordeal the mind goes through everytime that happens..

Anyways..that's the way it is...and the choice we make stays with us. Only, let's not make our choices paths of no-return..such that we can change course and taken the other less treaded path...

Is'nt all this that makes life interesting and gives it meaning. Live by your choices and succeed, have the courage to change course when it's called for and just give in to your heart's voice sometimes..

Now this sounds very philosophical..I think.. I actually like the sound of it!
If only..we had less choices to make...