Are we a 'sportive' people?

I am not a cricket buff, don't follow the game, actually not that I don't like it, but there is a certain eccentricity element in me which tells me everyone is crazy about it no - so, I should'nt be – generally revolting…against what..don’t know!!

Anyway, coming to the point in context, I was one of the EXTREMELY saddened souls when I heard that India has lost it’s chance to play further in the World Cup..
I did put an ear to various reports, conversations etc. around me which ranged from blaming Team India, analyzing what went wrong, sermonizing future course of action, taking a pedestal position and being philosophical, someone saying it’s ok- let’s applaude the other team who did better, some stooping down to a level of making personal attacks on the players, some saying it’s a game and we need to move on…etc…etc..etc…

In all this, I was very sad….very, very sad…there was an ‘I’ or ‘Me’ or ‘My’ element which had been hurt…extremely hurt.
I don’t understand the technicalities of the game..I was’nt blaming them…I could’nt really.. don’t have that kind of a temperament. But, yes, I was extremely sad, quiet, but very, very sad.

This feeling brought forth one of my biggest weaknesses – not capable of taking defeat. Not able to comprehend defeat being an option. Not at all comfortable with any ‘sport’ which demands that we be sportive, which says one will win and the other will lose.
The question always in my mind has been – why is’nt it the Academics way – do your best and you score a 100! Just because someone else is scoring a cent per cent, does not deny you the chance if you are equally deserving. It works differently and so much more better!
Nevertheless, we have had sport, since I think, ages. I am sure since mankind evolved, the spirit to compete has always been prevalent – I am not against that. But, if it’s not your day, a sport or a game mercilessly throws defeat back into you face. So, am I saying – it’s all luck and we have no part to play. NO, certainly not! But, the intensity and gravity with which you are hit needs courage, needs guts, needs the grit to take it and move one and needs the ‘SPORTIVE’ spirit.

Guess that is the most difficult part – to brave it in the face of defeat and move on.
That shows character.
Me on a personal level – I am learning, still not there, definitely not there, but, am consciously trying to reach there.

Life from academics to Professional itself gives you the first blow, starts showing you the harsh face of the world – here you are pitted against one and all – mind you, everyone around you is competing – at some level or the other.

I’m learning, have been for the past 10 odd years and as I feel I’m becoming mature by the day – and here comes a totally unrelated, something which does not affect me personally, a game which I am not interested in the first place – and it hits me, it hits me HARD.
What hit me most is that, I have still not really changed from the core. Under all the facades of professional maturity, I am still the same person!

I still feel sad, feel dejected, wish things could be undone and redone, take time to realize and come out of melancholy.

I have realized that some people are born sportive, when I say born – their mind is more or less inclined or trained towards taking things in their stride, adverse things I mean – either they are like that always or have been able to inculcate that from early on.

Now that I have realized I don’t belong to the ‘sportive’ species, I have a constant fear that my offspring may also turn out like me – which I would’nt want!

The kind of school that my daughter goes to is just right from that aspect. What they teach them is how to work as a Team; how not to focus on individual histrionics, but to gel as a team; to participate is important and not whether you win; not to attach too much importance to ‘compete’ which in turn makes you anxious about the outcome, but to participate. All this sounds familiar isn’t it, heard all the time? – Well I heard this too, but, in Gurukul (that is my daughter’s school), this is followed not in letter, but in spirit.
I see multiple examples of this spirit being inculcated in my child day in and day out, to the extent that I fear that she may not have the competitive spirit, killing attitude, go-getter perspective – but, then, are’nt we all more or less like that? Does that make us happy people? Definitely yes, when we win (that also comes with a heavy price of stress and anxiety prior to the ‘victory’); but when we see defeat – it also leaves us as dejected, saddened and despaired lot.

If the competitive spirit is coupled with courage to take defeat positively and move ahead in life – nothing like it – perfect potent mix that successful people are made up of!
I have a feeling that my kids are moving in that direction – which makes me happy, very happy. I smile silently with satisfaction and yes anxiety again that they should grow up to be secure, confident and courageous. Just hope that I don’t rub off my anxieties on them.

If my hypothesis surrounding me and my lack of sportive spirit is correct, I feel, we by and large a hugely ‘non-sportive’ people.
What we need is more and more people with courage; people with strength of character who can take on any adversity with dignity and calm; who will learn from their defeats and can bounce back immediately(I mean almost); who don’t immediately jump to conclusions; who can take the time to sit back, think, strategize and actionize; and who can once in a while rejoice in the opponent’s victory as well – well if not rejoice, at least acknowledge the opponent’s superiority, appreciate and applaud.. Definitely the last one is contextual – would’nt expect that to happen in a battle! I am not expecting people to become Buddhas, but, surely some amount of control over one’s mind and emotions will help us go along way and emerge victorious.

It’s time, we made a start – by at least acknowledging the fact that we may be quite ‘sporty’, but are not the best ‘sportive’ people. And then move on to sit down and do something about it.

At least, I have, in fact I did quite some time back….my journey is on….hopefully I attain my destination soon..