Ahhh that vacation..

'Vacation'...that magical word has become a dream, a much-awaited break from stress, a time-window most eagerly looked forward to..
So much of time goes in anticipation that you actually start enjoying the pining, waiting, anxiety for the supposed utopia you would be transported into once you take off..
When I sit to think, do you really need to get away to a far-off land to be away from the daily mad rush? I would say 'Yes' and 'No'.
(A)'Yes' for various reasons -
to be really away which means hey, my cell is not going to be reachable;
to overcome the so called guilt of not able to spend real leisure time with kids (it's always....hush..i'm on call, don't make noise..am sending out this really important mail, a game of scrabble...not now dear, I am just drained out today..and it goes on..);
a status symbol declaring to the world...we went to xyz place..had a great time..you must try it...;
maybe sometimes some really real reasons of wanting to explore the place;
and most of all i think to just break away, in anticipation, that some place elsewhere we are going to be away from the reaches of the usual rut.
(B)'No' -
for people who have elevated themselves to higher planes of wisdom and definitely a degree more enlightened than us mere mortals who have ample control over their minds and can imbibe a clutter-free environment (read 'mind') for themselves in the midst of absolute chaos. Escaping to a far-off place - no, not for these wise ones;OR
for people who want to go to a happening place, but, are compelled not to due to various pulls that keep them back.

So, now with the basic analysis done (don't really know why I did it in the first place!..anyway..), let me say that I am of the first type - the 'Yes' type.

I would love to get away, just get away some place and WHY...probably for a mix of all the reasons I mentioned for why people of the first type do what they do.

Now, what does a vacation mean to me...?
I remember, as a kid, it was more or less packing off to our native place during summer holidays. I don't remember going to any fancy places...the escapades were mostly annual trips to visit grandparents or religious ones for the required thanksgiving to God Almighty. Thank God my parents took me along for the religious ones - lest, I would have died an atheist! With the way I have prioirties today, I may not like it so much, but, I hardly find time to do anything remotely revolving around temples or just saying a simple Thank You prayer to God.
So, there it is...come summer holidays, pack your suitcases (the big VIPs), get into the right compartment (my Dad did very meticulous planning around that...will need to dedicate a whole post on that one :-) ), off to Ammmamma or Mamma's place in all anticipation. It used to be great first and then, when the novelty wore out, it was..when do we get back?
In fact, with this pattern, I always thought how can one go to a place where there is noone to visit...
But, whatever..these vacations, with all the heat and sweat, with same place to visit year after year - were great times and see, I still remember them..most FONDLY.

Then, I grew up and got into this vicuous circle of professional life, being on-call and available all the time, having something or the other which is required as on yesterday; along-with that kids for whom I never seem to have enough time :-(,pressures of the day - all leading to a mountain of stress with burning lava inside ready to explode at the slightest pretext.
With this picture, I now CRAVE for a vacation.
I still enjoy the anticipation, the planning, the thinking over again and again of what all i will pack into that 'free' time window...
And then, I love those spur of the moment vacations too where we just decide and take off...
Alas, the second types are diminishing day by day. There are so many strings attached, so many loops to close...can't afford to go away without planning and announcing to the whole world.

Now before I go any further on this topic, one thing is for sure, I am in bad need of one!!
Fingers crossed and wishing for a fabulous time to unwind...what's wrong with dreaming !!! ;)

Do we know what we want?

Don’t know if anyone else experiences this or I happen to be the ‘chosen’ odd one (seriously…I would love to have company…and being kind of ‘chosen’ for this strange feeling is spooky!!)
Anyways…here it goes..
Many times through…I’ve felt I don’t know what I want!
When I was a kid, there were times I wanted to go, learn swimming and then I thought it was kind of complicated and not really worth the effort..
A little older, I wanted to be an expert on circuits and electronics, I spent some effort too, but, then always had this thought at the back of my mind if I really liked doing it..
A little older, I thought I should study to be an Engineer, I did that too, but then there was a little thought somewhere which told me I would be better off studying History or English..
A little older, I wanted to be in the cut throat world of business always on the move, and then something told me to get into a more in-office job..
A little older, I wanted to balance work and kids, have been doing too, but, something tells me this is not my calling..need more time for family..

It's choices, choices all the way...some decisions taken are good and some bad. Whatever be the case, we take them and live with them. Many a times, the path taken kind of makes things monotonous and we change the way things are....and then there is again the excitement to make things work..

With time, I've come to realize that choosing between two paths has been the most complicated thing to do. Someone else decides for me and I will be happy to follow. So, does that mean I am a good follower and don't really want to lead...not really.
I think I find it far more easy and nice to have someone do the thinking especially when there are options!

If only, life were simpler and we didn't need to choose from so many options...I may be sounding strange...but, seriously..whether it's what to cook for lunch today, which colour would look good on the kids to things like what type of work is really my calling....CHOICES, OPTIONS leading DILEMMAs and the pain to 'choose'...

It brings me to the thought - Do we really know what we want? Whenever the mind makes a choice, it is a function of various parameters which the mind understand are the variables in this equation. Intelligent species that we are, we tend to run these equations in our minds all the time - to choose between a pizza or pasta OR to choose between doing an 'in' jobe or taking it easy.. And then, there are times when the logic seeking neurons in the mind are overrridden by the heart (is that the 4 chambers...ooops..I don't want to apply my grey cells here again..) and we still end up making a choice.

So, good or bad, through mind or heart, whether we like or not - we are making choices all the time, everytime...If only, we had to do less of that. ...given the ordeal the mind goes through everytime that happens..

Anyways..that's the way it is...and the choice we make stays with us. Only, let's not make our choices paths of no-return..such that we can change course and taken the other less treaded path...

Is'nt all this that makes life interesting and gives it meaning. Live by your choices and succeed, have the courage to change course when it's called for and just give in to your heart's voice sometimes..

Now this sounds very philosophical..I think.. I actually like the sound of it!
If only..we had less choices to make...